CULTsha-sha

Hero or Villain?

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 18:47:00 -0400

I read an article on The Independent website about how invisibility cloaks could be theoretically feasable and that scientists in US have already been able to make a small object appear “invisible” to a machine that detects things using microwaves.

I didn’t know microwaves could detect anything other TV dinners but then I’m no scientist. It also had URL addresses to youtube videos that featured other recent sci-fi inspired inventions like the Russian rocket boot and the tractor beam. However they were a bit of a let down as was the entire article.

But then I thought about how cool it would be if those inventions were created but I was the only one with the prototypes. I could either be a superhero or a super villain.

Both had pros and cons.

Pros to being a super hero:

1. You become a public figure that people adore and idolise.

2. You get a self satisfying sense of well being knowing you’re helping your fellow man.

Cons to being a super hero:

1. Constant worry about your public image.

2. Even if you are well recieved by the public you cant enjoy it as you’ll still be you thanks to that crappy secret identity.

3. You’ll be constantly haunted by the faces of those you failed to save or those criminals that you may have “accidentally” killed while trying to capture them.

4. Criminals may kill you.

Pros to being a super villain:

You get to steal cool shit.

You get to feel like a bad ass.

Cons to being a super villain:

You’ll struggle with your morals and ethics… but then again you’ll have all the free shit to take your mind off it.

It’s decided - being a super villain is the better option, I wonder how much those Russian rocket boots cost?

darkhorsedan: New competition: Guess the sound. Reblog with...

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:03:05 -0400

darkhorsedan:

New competition: Guess the sound.

Reblog with what you think it is.

I’ll put the answer up in a couple of days.

Is it a little baby chick dancing in a puddle next to a large watch?

getthefuckoutrightnow: scriptabanane: elvira:edt: Non tutti...

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:55:03 -0400

getthefuckoutrightnow:

scriptabanane:

elvira:edt:

Non tutti sanno che: The Man Who Laughs è un film muto di Paul Leni del 1928. Tratto da un romanzo di Victor Hugo (L’homme qui rit), la caratterizzazione del protagonista data dal regista - figura chiave dell’espressionismo tedesco - colpì tanto Bob Kane e Bill Finger, disegnatore e sceneggiatore di Batman, che la scelsero come ispirazione per il Joker. (via i am not perfext)

Edinburgh Diary 21st-27th August 2008

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:52:34 -0400

thesophie:

Two reasons why Ihaven’t been keeping up with the daily blog.

1 - Still no internet in the flat.

2 - I would rather be partying/sleeping.

So welcome to the omnibus edition. I bring you highlights from the 21st to the 27th August. Of course, I was drunk a lot of the time and my memory is bad at the best of times, so it will be sparing, but maybe that’s best. After all I’m sure you’re all fucking tired of hearing how the show is going and that I’m tired.

Having said that I will tell you briefly about my first solo spot on the 22nd. I did character stand up from new stand-up, Harriet Deansway. It went so well. They were eating out of the palm of my hand*

I saw the BEST SHOW at the entire Edinburgh fringe. It’s called The Nose Guy and involves a chat removing the face of Jimmy Carr from a Jimmy Carr flyer and replacing it with his nose, filling the space of the entire Carr face.

I blagged into the ‘So You Think You’re Funny?’ party and saw Roy Walker and Johnny Vegas snogging.

Colin Murray asked me directions and I got flustered.

I went to see Matt Forde’s On Heat, a panel show which had Pappy’s Fun Club vs The Penny Dreadfulls. Brilliant!DOOSH!DOOSH!DOOSH!BRAP!D-D-D-D!!! I think the Penny’s slammed it by calling Pappy’s “S Klang Juniors”. OHHH! BRAP BRAP! D-D-D-DOOSHDOOSH!

I got the phrase - “HELLO! YOU CAME!” in my head. In fact it’s still in there.

We won the if.comedy spirit of the fringe award.**

Then I dreamt that I won best drama writer if.comedy award for an advert I wrote about Armando Iannucci. What.

Yesterday was post-fringe day. All the comedians had gone and I was left to convinve the landlady I couldn’t give her the money my boss owed her, even if I wanted to (which I certainly didn’t)
The lovely Emily, Paddy, Paddy’s cousin Adam and myself spent the day watching films. It started with the unbeatable Jumanji. That was probably a mistake, starting with an unbeatable film…
“Are you ready?”
“There is no ready”
Other gems from the day included -
1. i cannae do it cos i dinnae wanna.
2. this is the first day of my 13th birthday.
3. make it famous.
4. is there a pre-past?

I’m sure there were other things that happened over the last week that may interest you, but I’m darned if I can remember them. any questions? Leave below!

This will probably be my last Edinburgh blog, as I’m going home tomorrow and today I do not intend to leave the house apart from to smoke, or maybe to buy snacks.

Oh! If you haven’t already you must watch The People Who Live Under the Stairs.

Thank you.
Farewell.

Sophie x

*Advice - always take snacks to feed your audience. Trill works well.
**Along with everyone else.

is there a pre-past? made me laugh out loud. I’ll miss your Edinburgh Diarys it all sounded so amazing. I wish I could have seen your act.

ilindsay: slackr: Missing Hahaha

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:38:43 -0400

ilindsay:

slackr:

Missing

Hahaha

Longpigs, On and On

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:31:30 -0400

Longpigs, On and On

Kids in the Hall, most of their sketches are mediocre but this...

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:59:01 -0400

Kids in the Hall, most of their sketches are mediocre but this one made me laugh out loud at the end. The performances make it.

darkhorsedan: nevver: FreakAngels

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:52:35 -0400

darkhorsedan:

nevver:

FreakAngels

Notting Hill Carnival

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:01:50 -0400

Went to the Notting Hill Carnival with Ripley Peeps after work today. Well the carnival was pretty much over by the time we got there, it was just a shit load of people and police dancing in the street. I mean the people were dancing in the street the police were arresting the people. I saw like twenty police men arrest one guy and when I say twenty I’m not exaggerating it was ridiculous - but then I’m not a copper so what do I know.

I was the only male in the group and the only British person, I was accompanied by one Canadian and three Americans. So it was rather embarrassing to not really know a thing about the carnival or even how to get there.

It was fun, I bought a fetching whistle for one pound (and it’s loud to boot). There was dancing on the streets like I said; sort of an outdoor club thing and we were drinking vodka. All was well until total fucking chaos broke out in the form of a fight between two groups of complete twats. Everyone else in the crowd was on their best behavior and the DJ (with the biggest set of personal speakers I have ever seen) managed to calm things down by refusing to play until the situation defused. Unfortunately the peace was short spent as the idiots refused to let any one else have a good time. The fighting got near to where we were standing and two of the girls I was with almost fell flat on their faces from all the back pushing. It got stupid when people were walking off with lots of blood on their hands. We decided to vacate the area, as well as everyone else.

It’s a shame people were really getting into the set and something the DJ said was particularly harrowing (although I have no idea if it was true or not as this was my first Notting Hill Carnival). He said that “Your parents were here and they behaved themselves, and your grandparents were here and they behaved themselves too. So I’m just asking you to behave yourselves.” He also said that music was about having fun and not about violence. A good message, it’s a shame that a handful of cunts decided to ignore him and ruin the fun for everybody.

(via garfieldminusgarfield)

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:44:22 -0400

(via garfieldminusgarfield)

The Greenhornes, Good times

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:18:08 -0400

The Greenhornes, Good times

Working Late

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 06:48:00 -0400

I haven’t done me tumblr in awhile as I’ve been working the late shift at Ripley’s (4:45pm-12:15am) and Helen came down to visit before she went to China. She gets to go to China… lucky girl. So this maybe a bit long. Sorry.

Any way I’m still enjoying the company of my fellow Ripley staff members but the management are in shit; literally. Our first opening day was last Wednesday however the sewage pipes got blocked up or burst or both, not sure of the details but sufficeid to say stinky bad water made it’s way from the fifth floor all the way down into our staff room. We were asked to start at four o’clock if we were on the late shift but because the problem was so bad we closed early. I got to go home at 8 and was paid for a full shift. Which mean’t I got to go to the pub on the clock. There is nothing better than being in the pub on the clock. Nothing… apart from that obviously.

Last night went down without a hitch, but I was on admissions all night which kinda sucks as our foyer is loud! They repeat the same five songs over and over but they have programed two impressive and realistic robot fairy tale characters to mime along with the music. The characters are randomly Jack Spratt (who eats no fat) and his wife (who eats no lean) and they don’t half attract a lot of attention.

The other problem working on admissions, other than the bordom factor, is that customers become more aggressive and more intoxicated past nine thirty. One young Scottish lad asked me for two pints of fosters, I said we weren’t a bar; he asked where the bar was and I said there wasn’t one; he gave me the finger and told me to fuck off on his way back out he door. Nice.

On a none Ripley’s subject I didn’t get the job at 12yard. They interviewed 40 people and only 5 went through to the next interview stage so I don’t feel too bad. We were interviewed in groups of three so they could see how well we worked together in a brain storming enviroment. They gave us bits of card which when turned over revealed a word or phrase. We turned over two cards each and had to come up with ideas for TV shows based on what was written on those cards. We then had to comment on each others ideas in a progressive and positive way.

I got ‘Gameshow’ and ‘Daddy’s Girl’ and ended up pitching a show where a daughter surprises her Dad with a film crew and tries to set him up with prospective wives to be. I also had to come up with a show based on a film title, Stand By Me (great film). I pitched a show where a husband or wife is secretly filmed while his or her partner purposefully pushes their buttons. The spouse being filmed remains calm and doesn’t fly off the handle the couple win a dream prize. A holiday or something.

After the interview I went to the pub with one of the guys in my group. After a couple of beers we were approached by a fella giving out free beer coupons for new beer! So we said yes and managed to swindle a few more off him. So I got pissed.

I’ve been getting pissed a lot lately. We had a big friends and family night on Tuesday. Helen and Christopher came along and saw the attraction for free which was a bit of fun. We then got to go to the club around the corner where there was an open bar!! It was a great night and we totally took advantage of it. So as long as Ripley’s keeps me pissed I think I’ll be happy.

Helen hurry up and write your China blog you’ve been there almost a day now!

Michael Bay's Dark Knight script - check it out!

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 21:06:28 -0400

Michael Bay's Dark Knight script - check it out!:

(via darkhorsedan)

I love the last bit… Missiles are solid comedy gold.

getthefuckoutrightnow: florencio: (via plannine) This guy...

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 05:46:47 -0400

getthefuckoutrightnow:

florencio:

(via plannine)

This guy interviewed me for an office job the other day but I didn’t get it. He said I was too hairy.

Cuddly Toys

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:01:00 -0400

Yesterday my easy going training at Ripley’s Believe it or Not was interrupted by actual work. I and a few of my new colleagues were chosen to leave training to go help out in the gift shop. The big American cheese was down, giving his inspirational and educational talk about Mr Ripley and his organisation so the fact that they were having problems getting the shop sorted had to be kept quiet.

They probably picked me out because I had retail experience although you really don’t need experience to sticker toys and put them on racks. As I was bar-coding overpriced crap I was talking to one of the girls about working in stores full time and how it inspired me to go to university. It occurred to me that after uni I’m right back labeling shite in a store. This depressed me a little.

Still it’s easy and I’m going to have fun, although the interior store decorator was really freaking me out, a loverly Austrailian woman called Holly. She would keep saying, in a quick toneless way “This is fun isn’t it? We’re having fun now right?” ”Look at these aren’t they precious?” “Isn’t it gorgous?” ”We’re are having now right?”

I almost turned round and screamed “Yes! We are having Fun just shut the fuck up!” That of course would have been terribly mean, she’s actually a sweet lady sort of a three year old trapped in a 30 something body. She also hums tunelessly to herself.

I won’t be working in the gift shop all the time and it is full of toys which is pretty cool. Near the end I was in charge of the cuddly toys, that was fun. But they kept on coming and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what I was going to do with them. They were everywhere!

I stayed on an extra hour but in the end I just walked off and went home. A few of those cuddly toys were cool though, I really liked the cuddly octopus.

You can wear it on your head.

This is Krunchiefrog’s new mini comic Batsman Trial and...

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:24:25 -0400

This is Krunchiefrog’s new mini comic Batsman Trial and Error, I’ll let her explain it all on this website. Aren’t the characters cute?

Can you do one for Life on Mars?

johnbrissenden: Wondering how much tonight’s insomnia will fuck up tomorrow. I’ve started...

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 05:12:15 -0400

johnbrissenden:

Wondering how much tonight’s insomnia will fuck up tomorrow.

I’ve started wondering how it’s going to effect me next week. I get a bed of my own again from tonight, no more floor for me.

Desire

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 17:02:32 -0400

Desire

The company interviewing me on Wednesday

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:47:40 -0400

The company interviewing me on Wednesday

The Six Parts Seven, Casually Smashed to Pieces

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:41:22 -0400

The Six Parts Seven, Casually Smashed to Pieces